Passion is key

Passion is key in finding a true match. No, not that type of passion (although that doesn't hurt either). I am talking about the passion you have for whatever it is that you love to do. Whether it be a sport, a craft, an art or just watching Hell's Kitchen every Wednesday night. Whatever it is that you do that you are passionate about, keep doing it. Don't try something new to impress someone, or think you need to be someone else to catch someones eye. If you are true to yourself, that passion shows, and will attract the right type of person for you in the end. Ever notice when someone is passionate about something, they are more animated, talk a little louder, have a twinkle in their eye? So go ahead, write that book, watch your team win (or lose), catch up on your painting projects. You'll soon realise that you've lost track of time and trust me, that passion will show, and it will attract the right person for you. Preferably, one who also watches Hell's Kitchen!

Is he the RIGHT ONE?

Choosing the right partner is so very important to your happiness because it can affect every other aspect of your life. So if you are in a relationship that wish to move to the next level, the first thing you have to decide is if the person you're with is the "right one".

Before we decide if he's your right guy, let's find out what kind of man is at the top of your love list. In other words, who represents your number ten? Close your eyes and remember him. He's that one man from your past that makes your heart skip a beat when you think of him no matter how many years have gone by. Your "10" may have been a fleeting romance. Maybe he was your childhood sweetheart or that guy that broke your heart last year. When you think of him, the feeling you get deep in your heart is now your definition of a ten. Knowing the answer to this question is the beginning step on the road to recognizing your mister right.

So you've met someone you like. The first of many questions you need to ask yourself is "what number is this guy on your new scale?" If he ranks somewhere between 8 and 10 he is definitely in the running! Do you have that much sought after combination of a solid friendship as well as chemistry? How would you like to spend your time with him? Can you imagine yourself doing everyday things such as shopping, dining, dancing, traveling or sleeping with person? The absolute truth is that everyone just wants to be with someone they can laugh with, cry with, tell their secrets to and love with all their heart (not just s part of it). True Love is a friendship caught on fire! When the flames of passion start to fade over time only true friendship will keep the relationship on solid ground.

The way a man commits to his friends can tell you about how he commits in other aspects of his friendships. Does he have a lot of friends he's know for years? If he has a lot of childhood friends that's a great sign and may just have a "keeper" on your hands! Also look closely at his relationship with his parents or siblings. A man that is strong in this area usually is able to build a strong family of their own. Is he the Ying to your Yang? If his strengths complement your weaknesses, then you're on the right track. Do you respect who he is as a person? Is he a giver or a taker in the relationship? Does he respect who you are as a person and what you've accomplished in your life? What do your friends think of him? Sometimes they can see what you can't! Make sure to ask the dog too; your furry friend can tell instantly if he's right for you. Don't forget the moral, ethical, religious and family values. These are our core principles and we all need to be with someone who sees the world in a similar way to us on at least some key points.

So is he the Right Guy? You now have some great tools to help you find your answer!

Sheryel Aschfort is a relationship expert and the Director of Great Expectations Boca Raton.

Original Article from MODE LIFESTYLE Magazine, Jul/Aug 2009.

Pretty Little Liars

Everything I am about to tell you is based on what this blogger believes to be true. And what is that? Current research tells us that 20 million people visit an online dating site at least once a month. Sounds promising right?! Well, not once you get out there. Since online dating is easily accessible and affordable for all, it attracts all kinds. We're not saying it can't be done, but it's certainly exhausting to weed through all of the potential suitors to find your prince charming, especially when you hear these statistics: 50% of people lie in their online profile, and 80% of that is about their physical appearance (height, weight, etc). Scared yet? Well, take a look at these most popular online fibs and then I'll ask that question again!

Top Ten Online Dating Profile Fibs

1. Age.  We hear it every day. "Well, I am 50, but everyone tells me I  look 35, so I just put 35." That might be well and true, but do you really have anything in common with other 35 year olds? It might be fun for a minute, but isn't longevity the goal? 
2. Height/Weight. As we stated before, 80% of online daters lie about this. Men mostly lie about their height: The average male height in America is 5'9", the average online profile is 5'11''. Women tend to fib about the weight, shaving off at least 5 lbs. How do you expect to explain this when you actually do meet in person??
3. Photos. Statistics tell us that online profile photos are at least 3 years old, and the older the person, the higher that discrepancy gets. So that Studboy33 you've been chatting with all night? Yeah, he probably doesn't look like that anymore. My guess is, it's the best photo ever taken of him, and so he just keeps using it, even though it was taken 15 years ago at his cousin's wedding.
4. Occupation/Income. Online daters exaggerate their income by an average of 20%. Why? Because the higher the income listed, the higher the number of inquiries they receive. As far as occupation, people are very creative in this department! The postal carrier  puts Government, the unemployed are suddenly Freelance or Entrepreneur. Get the idea?
5. Marital Status. Ready for this? An astounding 30% of married men have an online dating profile!!!! And here you wonder why Studboy33 never wants to meet in person? Well, that's because he is married and he is just using online dating sites to stroke his ego a little bit, thinking of leaving his wife and testing the waters, or worse yet, looking for an affair. Another lie in this category? People often qualify themselves as 'Almost Divorced.' That is about as accurate as "A little bit pregnant."
6. Activities. Sure Studboy33 sounds like a catch. He goes on fantastic vacations, enjoys visiting wineries and taking hot-air balloon rides. Read: He did those things once and liked them. Don't be fooled into thinking he is jet-setting, wine connoisseur. Those rarely exist in online dating profiles. That just sounds more exotic than "I like to watch Nascar on Sunday with all my buddies". Sorry to burst your bubble!
7. Intentions. Ever notice how some people never find time to actually meet up in person? Well, because they are more comfortable sitting behind the veil of a computer screen than actually meeting face-to-face (or married-see #5!). Still others want to meet up right away, because their intention is to hook up  with you immediately. Some sites offer this option for you to input: Casual Dating, Serious relationship, Marriage, Friendship. Make sure to carefully read the profiles to see if their are any indications of the true intentions.
8. Education. Along with income, those with a higher education listed on their online profile receive more inquiries. Not the worst of fibs, who hasn't exaggerated on a resume before as well?!
9. Bad Habits.  Women are the biggest offenders in this category, often lying about smoking, as it is socially unacceptable to most. Other lies that fall into this category? Alcohol or drug use. Social drinking to me may be something totally different to you. And while I consider marijuana as an illegal drug, you may consider it a typical Friday night. 
10. Scammers. Here is the big one ladies and gentlemen! We hear horror stories every.single.day from both women and men about how they got scammed online. Some are obvious: As soon as you give them your info, you are overwhelmed with spam mail, and never send money to someone you met online! Some are not so obvious: Identity theft, or the worst one I ever heard: She came home from a weekend away with her new online beau to find her apartment cleaned out and his phone was suddenly disconnected. True Story.

So, I'll ask that question again...scared yet? I know I am! We are not saying online dating does not work. For some it does. You just have to know the facts and put on your coat of armor before jumping in. The only safe way to date? Great Expectations, of course! The only private, upscale singles club, where ALL members are screened in our office and background checks are done. Our members are who they say they are, do what they say they do, and look like their photos. Our staff has over 30 years of experience making matches happen every day. Remember, you won't find the right fish, if you're not looking in the right pond!