Is he the RIGHT ONE?

Choosing the right partner is so very important to your happiness because it can affect every other aspect of your life. So if you are in a relationship that wish to move to the next level, the first thing you have to decide is if the person you're with is the "right one".

Before we decide if he's your right guy, let's find out what kind of man is at the top of your love list. In other words, who represents your number ten? Close your eyes and remember him. He's that one man from your past that makes your heart skip a beat when you think of him no matter how many years have gone by. Your "10" may have been a fleeting romance. Maybe he was your childhood sweetheart or that guy that broke your heart last year. When you think of him, the feeling you get deep in your heart is now your definition of a ten. Knowing the answer to this question is the beginning step on the road to recognizing your mister right.

So you've met someone you like. The first of many questions you need to ask yourself is "what number is this guy on your new scale?" If he ranks somewhere between 8 and 10 he is definitely in the running! Do you have that much sought after combination of a solid friendship as well as chemistry? How would you like to spend your time with him? Can you imagine yourself doing everyday things such as shopping, dining, dancing, traveling or sleeping with person? The absolute truth is that everyone just wants to be with someone they can laugh with, cry with, tell their secrets to and love with all their heart (not just s part of it). True Love is a friendship caught on fire! When the flames of passion start to fade over time only true friendship will keep the relationship on solid ground.

The way a man commits to his friends can tell you about how he commits in other aspects of his friendships. Does he have a lot of friends he's know for years? If he has a lot of childhood friends that's a great sign and may just have a "keeper" on your hands! Also look closely at his relationship with his parents or siblings. A man that is strong in this area usually is able to build a strong family of their own. Is he the Ying to your Yang? If his strengths complement your weaknesses, then you're on the right track. Do you respect who he is as a person? Is he a giver or a taker in the relationship? Does he respect who you are as a person and what you've accomplished in your life? What do your friends think of him? Sometimes they can see what you can't! Make sure to ask the dog too; your furry friend can tell instantly if he's right for you. Don't forget the moral, ethical, religious and family values. These are our core principles and we all need to be with someone who sees the world in a similar way to us on at least some key points.

So is he the Right Guy? You now have some great tools to help you find your answer!

Sheryel Aschfort is a relationship expert and the Director of Great Expectations Boca Raton.

Original Article from MODE LIFESTYLE Magazine, Jul/Aug 2009.

Pretty Little Liars

Everything I am about to tell you is based on what this blogger believes to be true. And what is that? Current research tells us that 20 million people visit an online dating site at least once a month. Sounds promising right?! Well, not once you get out there. Since online dating is easily accessible and affordable for all, it attracts all kinds. We're not saying it can't be done, but it's certainly exhausting to weed through all of the potential suitors to find your prince charming, especially when you hear these statistics: 50% of people lie in their online profile, and 80% of that is about their physical appearance (height, weight, etc). Scared yet? Well, take a look at these most popular online fibs and then I'll ask that question again!

Top Ten Online Dating Profile Fibs

1. Age.  We hear it every day. "Well, I am 50, but everyone tells me I  look 35, so I just put 35." That might be well and true, but do you really have anything in common with other 35 year olds? It might be fun for a minute, but isn't longevity the goal? 
2. Height/Weight. As we stated before, 80% of online daters lie about this. Men mostly lie about their height: The average male height in America is 5'9", the average online profile is 5'11''. Women tend to fib about the weight, shaving off at least 5 lbs. How do you expect to explain this when you actually do meet in person??
3. Photos. Statistics tell us that online profile photos are at least 3 years old, and the older the person, the higher that discrepancy gets. So that Studboy33 you've been chatting with all night? Yeah, he probably doesn't look like that anymore. My guess is, it's the best photo ever taken of him, and so he just keeps using it, even though it was taken 15 years ago at his cousin's wedding.
4. Occupation/Income. Online daters exaggerate their income by an average of 20%. Why? Because the higher the income listed, the higher the number of inquiries they receive. As far as occupation, people are very creative in this department! The postal carrier  puts Government, the unemployed are suddenly Freelance or Entrepreneur. Get the idea?
5. Marital Status. Ready for this? An astounding 30% of married men have an online dating profile!!!! And here you wonder why Studboy33 never wants to meet in person? Well, that's because he is married and he is just using online dating sites to stroke his ego a little bit, thinking of leaving his wife and testing the waters, or worse yet, looking for an affair. Another lie in this category? People often qualify themselves as 'Almost Divorced.' That is about as accurate as "A little bit pregnant."
6. Activities. Sure Studboy33 sounds like a catch. He goes on fantastic vacations, enjoys visiting wineries and taking hot-air balloon rides. Read: He did those things once and liked them. Don't be fooled into thinking he is jet-setting, wine connoisseur. Those rarely exist in online dating profiles. That just sounds more exotic than "I like to watch Nascar on Sunday with all my buddies". Sorry to burst your bubble!
7. Intentions. Ever notice how some people never find time to actually meet up in person? Well, because they are more comfortable sitting behind the veil of a computer screen than actually meeting face-to-face (or married-see #5!). Still others want to meet up right away, because their intention is to hook up  with you immediately. Some sites offer this option for you to input: Casual Dating, Serious relationship, Marriage, Friendship. Make sure to carefully read the profiles to see if their are any indications of the true intentions.
8. Education. Along with income, those with a higher education listed on their online profile receive more inquiries. Not the worst of fibs, who hasn't exaggerated on a resume before as well?!
9. Bad Habits.  Women are the biggest offenders in this category, often lying about smoking, as it is socially unacceptable to most. Other lies that fall into this category? Alcohol or drug use. Social drinking to me may be something totally different to you. And while I consider marijuana as an illegal drug, you may consider it a typical Friday night. 
10. Scammers. Here is the big one ladies and gentlemen! We hear horror stories every.single.day from both women and men about how they got scammed online. Some are obvious: As soon as you give them your info, you are overwhelmed with spam mail, and never send money to someone you met online! Some are not so obvious: Identity theft, or the worst one I ever heard: She came home from a weekend away with her new online beau to find her apartment cleaned out and his phone was suddenly disconnected. True Story.

So, I'll ask that question again...scared yet? I know I am! We are not saying online dating does not work. For some it does. You just have to know the facts and put on your coat of armor before jumping in. The only safe way to date? Great Expectations, of course! The only private, upscale singles club, where ALL members are screened in our office and background checks are done. Our members are who they say they are, do what they say they do, and look like their photos. Our staff has over 30 years of experience making matches happen every day. Remember, you won't find the right fish, if you're not looking in the right pond!

Come Here Often?

We all know that meeting someone on a bar stool or a website isn't the smartest thing to do. So where do you meet someone then? Friends? yes. Work? Not smart. Great Expectations? Definitely YES! But since that is not always an option, there are other ways to open up your dating pool safely. The trick is to meet someone where other people know them, can vouch for them, or have a background done by an organization. Here are a few ideas for you:

1. Do what you are passionate about. Like animals? Volunteer at the Humane Society. Like Horses? Take a Polo lesson. Love to cook? Take a cooking class. Love to Tango? Sign up for a dance lesson. This way you are in a group setting, meeting someone who already shares a similar interest to you.

2. Get Physical! Join a boot camp class, sign up for a marathon, take a golf lesson, join a cycling club. Whatever your sport of pleasure, this way you will meet new people and get in shape at the same time!

3. Get smart! Join a book club, take a class at the library or the University, join the Historical Society or Toastmasters. Is there a subject you've always wanted to know more about? There will be others that have the same thirst for knowledge!

4. Social Networking! Have a facebook account? Twitter? Linkedin? Although it's a website, most of the people you will meet are friends of friends, so instant comfort zone! Check out what events your friends are going to and join in. Fan your favorite restaurants, hot spots, organizations. You'll be the first to know about upcoming events, parties, openings and festivals.

5. Give back! Volunteering for your favorite charity is very rewarding. Habitat for Humanity, volunteer for the March of Dimes, or any other charity near and dear to your heart. You not only meet new people but feel good about yourself  at the same time!

Hope these ideas will help you get out there and meet a new group of people! Have another idea? Did you meet your significant other doing anything like this? We'd love to hear about it! Comment Below!

Boating, Blankets and Bingo: Great First Date Ideas

We all know that you only get one chance to make a first impression, and that concept is even more amplified when it comes to dating. Remember our Do's & Don'ts? So how do you stand out in a crowd? How do you wow your date in this tough economy? Tired of the coffee shop meetings? The cliche dinner and a movie getting old? (How do you get to know someone while watching a movie anyway?) Well, we have some ideas to help you out!

Great First Date Ideas:

1.  A picnic: Way more private, economical, and intimate that a restaurant. Pack a blanket, some wine, cheese, sandwiches, fruit, turn off the cell phone and get talking! No interruptions from a waiter, no awkward 'who pays the check' at the end, just relaxed conversation.

2. Get active: By the first date, you probably know enough about each other to know what interests you have in common. At least one of those is probably something active! So go for a hike, Rollerblade, golf, bowling, boating, whatever it is that you like. Healthy competition is always an icebreaker! I do not recommend certain activities though, such as tennis, swimming, or your favorite yoga class, as those do not work well with getting to know someone at the same time.

3. Get cultural. Check out an art gallery, a museum or take a historic tour. Nothing starts up a conversation like a Monet versus a Rembrandt or whether the old house on the corner is haunted!

4. Be a kid! Go to the zoo, the amusement park, get an ice cream cone, play bingo, see a magic show. Who wouldn't want to be a kid for a day again? What an easy way to let your guard down and really be yourself!

No matter what you do, just make sure that the date is stress-free, and you can both relax and (hopefully) enjoy each other's company.  That's the only way to know if there is going to be a Date #2!

Great Expectations Top Ten Dating Do’s & Don’ts

1.  Don’t be late. Being late does not increase anticipation, it shows lack of respect and that your time is more important than theirs.

2.  Dress to Impress. Dress appropriately for the location, don’t show too much skin, but look like you put effort into getting ready. You don’t get a second chance to make a first impression!

3.  Keep the conversation light. Avoid all talk of past relationships- good or bad, steer away from religion, politics & sex, and be sure not to come off as a “complainer”.

4. Listen and engage in the conversation. Ask questions, without getting too personal…this isn’t therapy!

5. Have a positive attitude!  Don’t be afraid to try a new cuisine, see a movie you wouldn’t normally see, or see a band that is out of your listening range. You never know, you just might like it!

6.  Don’t Drink & Date!  Know yourself and your limits. There is nothing sexy about a sloppy first date. Also, be cautious of what you order. We’re not saying stick to a salad, but if you order the steak, maybe don’t add the lobster! Show restraint & respect. It is a recession, after all!

7. Be realistic with your expectations. Dinner does not mean marriage. Go, enjoy yourself and see where it goes, but….

8. Don’t drag out the inevitable. If you are not feeling a connection, don’t stay for that second drink or dinner. Or give that good night kiss. Be honest with yourself and your feelings. No need to hurt anyone else’s feelings either.

9.  Who pays the check? Most men agree it is their responsibility, and gladly do so, but ladies, always offer! Don’t assume he will pay- no man wants to feel like a meal ticket!

10. If you had a good time, make sure to tell him! A follow-up call, text or email is always appreciated.